Permission to Retire

This morning I’m reflecting on an event I attended last night: my 50th high school class reunion. Gathered together were 60 sixty-somethings. (Some of us tried to change “sixty” to “sexy,” but it was hard to pull it off!) Instead we repeated “you look so good!” without adding the implied “...for your age.” Truthfully, it was good to see everybody at approximately the same point in the race. We all know how old we are;why pretend? I was amused at the responsibility we assumed for granting one another permission to enjoy this stage of life. Several times I overheard, or participated in, one of these conversations: “I’m ready to do some traveling...see the world.” “Well, you should!” Or... “I’m done with travel. Seen everything I want to see. Ready to watch it on the Travel Chanel.” “I don’t blame you! Stay home and rest!” Or... “I want to do something funky with my dining room. Like make a light fixture out of old mattress springs!” “Why don’t you?” Or... “I have a house full of furniture I’ve saved for my children, and none of them want it. I’m ready to dump it all and simplify my life!” “And you should! Why hang on to things?” Or... “Where are the antique stores? I love collecting memorabilia.” “Yes, we need to cherish the familiar.” You get the idea. It’s like we need to give each other permission to do whatever our heart is telling us. At one time I felt challenged to do what others my age did: exercise, travel, paint a picture, take up ballroom dancing, garden, etc. Now it’s okay if some of those things simply aren’t “my thing.” It’s okay if I want to linger in bed on Saturday morning, even when the plants need watering and the suitcase from my last weekend trip needs unpacking. When I get up and go with my husband to clean spider webs from the dock, it’s okay to come back and sit for a bit and do nothing. When I sat to put these thoughts down on paper—that is, computer— the cat wanted to settle in my lap for a long nap. I shooed him away because he made me lazy with his warm, furry body curled into my belly and his sonorous purring lowering my blood pressure. Suddenly, I realized something. It’s easier to give someone else permission to do what they want than it is to do it to ourselves. I’ve lived sixty-something years doing what needed to be done, meeting deadlines and others’ expectations. So now, if I want to lie on the couch for a while, blaming the cat because I haven’t checked off everything on my list, so be it. And I’ll bet if I share this notion with one of my classmates at tonight’s function, somebody will give me permission!

This morning I was gazing out the window of our sunroom in a languid Saturday-morning mood when something caught my attention-- the reflection of a doe at the edge of the water at the pond. As I focused on her, a little fawn came scampering out of the woods and ran up and down the bank, cavorting around. It reminded me of a scene last night when Burt and I met our son and his family at Bass Pro. Our 3-year-old granddaughter doesn't know how to walk; she only knows how to run! (At least that's the way it appears!) I took her to use the restroom and on the way had to apologize to four people she almost collided with. She delighted in having wide aisles with shiny floors to barrel through. My grandmother instincts kicked in and I thought how dangerous it would be if she chose to run across the parking lot when we left. "What's wrong with holding my hand?" I wondered. Thankfully the parking lot wasn't an issue because her parents trained her to wait at the curb, but seeing the little deer this morning gave me a fresh picture of youth and the exuberance of being high on life! The mother deer was placidly sipping water from the pond, yet alert to any suspicious movement or sounds. Her baby reveled in the freedom to cut loose and play. Isn't that what God wants us to do? If we truly lived in Psalm 91 mentality, wouldn't we be enjoying His peace, knowing His presence and awareness of us is covering us continuously? My prayer this morning is that I learn how to embrace the Presence we have with us at all times. Thanks for being my outlet this morning. I just had to get this written and for some reason, I wanted to share it with you...whoever and wherever you are!